One week from today is our nurse's class, I am so anxious to just get started already.

I brought my gym clothes to work today so I can go to the gym at lunch. I wanted to start exercising again but you are not supposed to start anything once you start the IVF process, so I figure if I start today I should be ok and can continue throughout. I am not planning on doing anything major, just walking. But I want to make sure I can do this once we start because I am scared of the weight that most people gain while going through this process, I have already had to clean out my closet once this year of the pants that no longer fit me.

So my mind has been wandering all weekend. I am basically convincing myself that this is our answer and that this is going to work for us. I get really excited about the prospect of being able to pick baby names, shop for cradles, cribs, car seats, clothes and such. But then I always seem to stop myself and the fear comes into play. The fear that this isn't going to work, the fear that I will never know what it feels like to carry a baby in my womb, the fear that Bob and I will spend years and years and lots and lots of money and never have a child to call our own. The thought of this not working is something I don't think I can handle - if this becomes a failed attempt I really don't know how I will recover from that.

Now that I just let out all of my fears I am going to work on letting them go. I need to have only happy thoughts!