So Mad at Myself

I am so mad at myself. Against my better judgement I took a home pregnancy test yesterday afternoon and it came up negative. I cried and cried and cried all afternoon. Why did I do that to myself. I am still holding out a little bit of hope that it might be too early. When I had Adam I took a test the same day (11 days past ovulation) and it came out negative and then 15 days past ovulation I had my blood work and it was 80, so I am hoping that I am just a low beta kind of girl and the same will happen this time. But I have to admit it is harder to stay positive now, I am really, really trying. I need all the prayers out there that I can get that this has worked!

PS - I called the doctor about my other embryos yesterday to see if any had made it to freeze and they said that it takes a week to get the paperwork - seriously I need to know if there are some left over so that if it hasn't worked this time at least I know we have those (even though I am not so confident on frozen transfers since the one we had didn't work) but at least it's something to hold onto because there is no way we can afford another round of IVF if this didn't work.