Fertilization Report

I just got the call from the doctor and got the fertilization report. Out of the 10 eggs that were retrieved only 5 fertilized. I have to admit I am a little nervous and upset by that number. What if some of the 5 don't continue to grow, how many great ones are we going to have to transfer. I am trying to stay positive but it is a little hard right now, I guess my expectations were just way too high! Right now my transfer is scheduled for Thursday but the nurse is going to call me tomorrow and re-confirm the day because there is a chance it could be tomorrow depending on how they are growing.

Dear God,
Please watch over the 5 babies we have right now. Please help them to continue to grow into viable embryos. Please watch over Bob and I in the next few days as we prepare to transfer some of our babies back inside me. Please bless us and help us to be the parents we so desperately want to be!
Love,
Alicia & Bob

Egg Retrieval

I had my egg retrieval today. I guess everything went well. I was so nervous this morning! We go to the doctors office, they had us sign our papers and then I got dressed in a hospital gown. After getting my IV we waited for about 15 minutes and then it was time. Bob and I went in seperate directions to do our thing. They brought me into the room, the embriologist asked my full name and that was all that I remember! Next thing I knew I woke up and was in a recliner in the recovery room with Bob sitting by me. I have no idea how I got there. I had some cramping (like really bad period cramps) but they gave me a heating pad and something to help with the pain. We were in the recovery room for an hour or so and then they let us go. Before we left I was told that they got 10 eggs. I have to admit I was disappointed with that number, I really thought they would have gotten more since I had a lot more follicles than that. I just hope that all 10 are mature (that will make me feel so much better if they are all mature). Tomorrow late morning/early afternoon we will get the fertilization report, I am anxious for that!

Fourth (and Final) Stim Check

I was at the doctor's office again this morning. My results are...

E2 - 2954
Right - 20, 19, 19, 13, 13, 13, 11, 10, 9, 7
Left - 23, 22, 19, 19, 18, 17, 15, 15, 15, 14

As of right now I get to stop all of my previous injections! I am so excited, I am ready to go! So tonight at exactly 9:00 p.m. I will do my HCG trigger, this is the shot that releases the eggs. The eggs are released 36 hours from the time you take your shot, that is the reason you have to take the shot at the exact time they tell you to. Hopefully this is the last injection I ever have to do! I will also start an antibiotic tonight.

So we have to be at the office on Monday morning at 8:15 a.m. for our 9:00 a.m. retrieval! I am nervous and excited at the same time. I shouldn't feel a thing during the actual retrieval since I will be sleeping but I have no idea what I will feel like afterwards. I just know that hopefully I will come home and sleep as our babies are dividing in the lab! Then anywhere from 3-5 days after that they will put the eggs back inside me and we will hear the positive results 12-14 days after that (so right after Easter).

Dear God -
Thank you so much for watching over us as we have gone through this process. You are so good and have truly blessed us. We are so gratful that you gave us each other to lean on during all of these difficult times and we are so gratful that you have allowed my body to respond so well to these medications. Please watch over us both on Monday and in the days to come. Please help us to be the parents we so desperately need.
Alicia & Bob

Third Stim Check

Results from my check today -

E2 - 1690

Right - 17, 16, 12, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8
Left - 21, 21, 17, 17, 15, 15, 15, 14, 14, 13

They didn't change the doses of my meds this time. Also, they had me order a new med yesterday (diluted HCG) and they didn't tell me to take it so I am thinking that I just bought a $50.00 vial of meds for nothing.

I have to go back again tomorrow morning (at least we don't live too far away). I just wish I knew when my retrieval would be, my guess is Monday or Tuesday.

Second Stim Check

I went to the doctor again this morning. Here are my results..

E2 - 1302
Lining - 11

Right - 14, 14, 13, 12, 11, 11
Left - 18, 16, 14, 13, 13, 13, 11, 10, 7

I am missing some on both sides - where did they go? I don't know if that is normal or not, I am kind of confused right now. My doctor ordered a new med for me, diluted HCG, I guess it's to slow down the growth of my follicles while my E2 level rises. I need to go and do some research but I think they want your E2 level to be 5000 or something like that (I could be wrong though).

I have to go back to the doctor again tomorrow morning.

I am starting to feel really, really uncomfortable! I feel like I have a lump or something where my ovaries are and it is tender when I breath in really deep. After seeing the number and the size of the follicles I now know why I feel that way. Bob doesn't believe me though when I tell him how uncomfortable I am - oh I wish there was a way that the husbands could feel everything that we go through!

First Stim Check

My first stim check went really well. I am on stim day 5, which is really early still but my body is responding good I think. I had 7 follicles on the right side and 11 follicles on the left side. The size of them are:

Right - 13, 12, 12, 7, 6, 6
Left - 15, 15, 13, 12, 12, 11, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7
E2 (Estrogen Level) - 885
Lining - 10mm

The goal is to get them between 18-20mm, so as you can see I am pretty darn close to being there. They grow on average 2mm each day. So they reduced one of my medications (the Gonal-F) from 225 units to 150 units. I have to go back again tomorrow morning for another round of blood work and ultrasound. Somehow I have a feeling that my egg retrieval will be sooner than we thought! I just hope that things aren't growing too quickly and it will mess things up. But I am pretty positive about everything right now!!!

Boo - my headaches are back. I just keep chugging water hoping these will go away soon!

I can't wait to go to the RE tomorrow to see how many lovely follicles I have! I will update then.

Stimming Right Along!

I started stims on Saturday! They have been going pretty well so far. One of the meds though burns really bad as I inject it in but I am starting to get used to it. My belly is also starting to look like a leopard with the bruising (don't worry I won't be posting any lovely shots of that). One part I love about this phase of the process is that I have been told that soaking your feet in hot/warm water everyday for 20-30 minutes helps with blood flow to your uterus- so I have been faithfully soaking my feet. It is so relaxing and a great excuse for me to just sit and do nothing!

I go to the RE on Wednesday for my first check so hopefully I will know how things are moving along and be able to have a better guess at when my ER will be.

Woo Hoo! I start stims tomorrow! I am SO excited!

I have learned that the headaches are indeed from the Lupron! I have another one today - yuck. I was told to drink lots and lots of water and that should help. I already drink a TON of water everyday but I'll just make sure I drink more. I finally feel rested today though - probably because I was asleep by 8:30 last night, I think my body really needed that.

Only 2 more days until I start stims! I am so excited. I hope that my body responds well.

Though I hope that my ER doesn't end up being on the 29th, my sister has decided to enter my niece in a baby beauty pageant and it will be on that day. I can't imagine not being there for her first pageant. For those of you who do not know much about the pageant world - this pageant is NOT like one of those that they show on TV. Sierra will not wear any make up and her dress is just the same one that she had for my sister's wedding. My sister just figured why not and see what happens. Both my sister and I had a great time doing pageants when we were younger and felt like it really helped with our confidence and public speaking skills. I know she is still really little but I think it would be fun to see if this is something she would like.

Side Effects?

I think the side effects of Lupron might be kicking in today! All afternoon I have had a pounding headache while sitting here at my desk. I can barely keep my eyes open it hurts so bad. This morning on the train in to the city for work I thought I was going to toss my cookies all over the guy sitting next to me (luckily nothing happened) but I didn't not feel well at all! Last night I cried my eyes out watching the Biggest Loser and I felt like I was up all night kicking off my covers and then getting cold and putting them back on.

I'm not too sure if all of these are because of the drugs but I can't imagine where else they would come from. And one other thing - I can now tell the difference between cheap needles and good ones - I had to open a new pack of syringes last night (I ran out of the good ones my doctor gave me) - they are about 10 of them that come in a bag (not individually wrapped like the good ones) and I went to give myself my shot as normal last night and the needle wouldn't go in! It actually felt like it bent a little bit and was going to break off but I finally got it in but boy oh boy did that sucker hurt! Now I am nervous for my shot tonight - I think I will just have to jab the needle in harder instead of trying to ease it in like I normally do.

I had my check at the RE yesterday to make sure that I didn't have any cysts and am ready to move onto the next step. I am happy to report that there were no cysts and everything looks really good! So on Saturday morning I will get to start my stims. That means 3 shots per day for probably around 10 days. Right now my estimated ER (egg retrieval) will be on the 31st and the ET (egg transfer) will be 2 to 6 days after that and then 12-14 days from then will be my pregnancy test! OMG - I can see an end point now! Very excited for Saturday to get here!

Woo hoo - we are moving onto the next step. I got my visitor today so this officially starts the beginning of my cycle! Hopefully this is finally the cycle that I get pregnant with!

I am ready to move on to the next step, ready to move on from this week (it was one from hell) and ready to move on with my life!

I have a appointment with the RE on Monday morning to make sure everything is as it should be, I am hoping that she will have me start my stims sooner then.

Bad Day

Yesterday was not a good day! My good friend at work got let go. I was so upset. I just really, really sucks. She was my sanity in this place, she was the one person that I could confide in. I am going to miss her so much. I know we will keep in touch but it just won't be the same to not see her everyday.

Then I found out that another friend of mine who just did IVF for the first time found out that it did not work. That is the second person that I know that had a failed first IVF within a month. I am feeling really discouraged by hearing about these negative results. I know that this is not 100% gauranteed for us but I couldn't help but get excited that this was going to work and now I just don't know. I really don't know if I could handle going through all of this only to have it end up badly.

Why do such wonderful people struggle with infertility! I am just sick for these two amazing women that I know. They want to be moms so bad!

Old Pro - Yeah Right!

Last nights shot was SO much easier than the previous night. I don't know if I did it so fast because Dancing with the Stars was on or what but I went right upstairs, jabbed it in and was finished.

Then Bob and I had the best ice cream! It was Girl Scout Cookie Samoa's Ice Cream - yummy! Tonight we are trying the Thin Mint kind! Yes, we eat ice cream every night and yes we need to stop that! Probably the reason that both of us no longer fit in the same clothes that we had for our honeymoon or even the things we wore last year! But since I have started all of this I have been eating really healthy throughout the day, lots of veggies and fruit and whole grains. So I can't cut out the ice cream just now. I need to have something that I look forward to.

One Down - Many More to Go

I did my first injection last night! I was so nervous and anxious all day yesterday! I had decided that my injection time was going to be 8:00 p.m. everynight. So I was watching the Amazing Race last night and the whole time I kept thinking to myself I don't want this show to end because that would mean injection time! Too quickly 8:00 p.m. rolled around. Bob and I went to the bathroom and I cleaned the top of the bottle containing the Lupron, opened the syringe, cleaned my skin and got the Lupron in the syringe. I then proceeded to pinch a large area in my belly and held the needle by my skin. Bob and I had to do at least 10 to 12 count downs before I actually stuck the needle in! I was so nervous my hands were sweating, my heart was racing and I was shaking like crazy! Bob kept saying this is for our baby - you can do it. I worked myself up way more than I needed to! It really did not hurt at all! I was pleasantly surprised! So now I am on this injection until the 21st where I will start my stimulation drugs to get the eggs growing! I have a doctor's appointment on the 16th and I am kind of hoping that things are looking so well that she will have me start stims earlier but I doubt that will happen. So the ball is really rolling now!

Date Night

Tonight Bob is taking me out for at date! I am so excited. I can't tell you the last time we actually went on one. We are pretty frugal and always make dinner at home so going out to eat is a special treat! We are going to this steakhouse by our place. We have a coupon and a gift certificate that we got on our anniversary so we have $125.00 to spend! I know we won't spend that much but it's nice to know we have it. Bob wanted to go tonight because starting on Sunday when I start my Lupron injections no more alcohol, soda and junk food for me! Hopefully until 9-10 months later is when I will have my next sip of alcohol or a soda.

Something has been brought to my attention that really makes me mad! With everything going on with the Octo-Mom I was just waiting for the backlash of that to come. Well I think it is starting. Georgia has proposed legislation that would virtually shut down IVF in that state! The bill calls for many regulations. But probably the most troubling ones are...

• Couples under 40 could only attempt to fertilize 2 eggs through in-vitro, a max of two embryos with no freezing allowed.
• Couples over 40 could attempt to fertilize 3 eggs but with no freezing allowed.

They are trying to say that this bill would protect women and children from multiple births but this isn't really a good thing. In reality things that would probably happen...

• No more in-vitro in Georgia (and I am sure it would only be a matter of time before this would spread to other states). I can't imagine many patients or even REs would use IVF under these circumstances.
• Since freezing is not an option - there would just be a lot of unknowns (even more than there is now)! Sometimes a patient hyperstimulates from the drugs and it is not safe to complete the transfer. In this case, the doctor and patient would have no other choice (since freezing is not an option) but to move forward and risk's the patients health or even cancel the cycle all together and the patient would be out a lot of money!
• Patients that have little time left or those with low egg supply would not be able to have embryos for future usage.

The headlines out there already read like "Bill would prohibit Octuplet mother scenario in Georgia"! This just ticks me off that because of one irresponsible RE and patient out there a bad name is coming down on IVF. I have to admit that if I wasn't facing the issues that we are facing I might feel the way that most of America is feeling. But having had dealt with infertility I have to say that IVF is such an amazing process to help those that would not have been able to have children on their own. Patients and REs just need to be responsible about things and there shouldn't ever be an issue out there like the Octo-Mom!

So for those of you out there who have not had to deal with infertility in your life and don't understand the process. Please don't base your opinion about IVF on the few crazy people out there that abuse the situation. IVF is a miracle for many, many people out there. And I know that it will be my miracle too!

One Week to Go

Next Sunday I will start my Lupron. I wish the time was here already. I feel like once I start that this will really be on it's way. The needles for the Lupron are pretty small so I don't think I will have too much of a problem with that. But of course I am so brave now - I am sure once it comes time to actually stick the needle in my stomach I will feel differently!

I have found myself lately saying things like, "When the baby is here" and such. After I say something like that I feel really guilty. Am I just setting myself up for failure by saying that, am I stupid in thinking that this is actually going to be it for us, am I getting ahead of myself. But I have to say it just feels so good to say something like that.

I have been praying a lot lately. In some ways I feel a sense of calm when I pray but then I hope that God doesn't think I am praying just because I want something. I am just trying to find a way to calm myself through everything and praying makes me feel like this is all more powerful than I am and that I just need to go through the flow and let things happen the way that they are supposed to happen.

Please God - Watch over Bob and I (and all other's going through IVF), give them the strength and courage to place everything in your hands and trust that we are just living your plan you have for us.