I first want to apologize for my downer post yesterday. I was just in a huge funk yesterday. I am still in that funk a bit today but nothing like I was then.

I had a dream last night that I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. I woke up this morning in somewhat of a panic over it and decided to take a test. I shouldn't have done that! The test was negative just like my dream. So of course I cried my eyes out this morning. I wasn't going to tell Bob what I did but he could tell that something was wrong so I broke down and told him. God Bless Him, he is just so upbeat about everything and thinks that it's just too early, I really hope he is right. I used a test strip that I got for free when I ordered a Fertility Monitor a LONG time ago. The strip did not come with any directions so I am not even sure if I did it right but I am pretty sure I did. I don't think those pick up early detection though like some of those out there. I do have some of the more expensive ones at home but I don't think I am going to test anymore, it's just too depressing to see the negative results. The only time I might test again is the morning of my bloodwork so that I am prepared for when the nurse calls. I really wish that Tuesday would be here! Hopefully with the holiday coming up this weekend that will make the weekend go by fast and then I just have to get through one LONG day at work on Monday.

Dear God,
Please forgive me for doubting you yesterday. I know that you are not punishing me and that there is some reason that you are having me struggle right now. I know I don't know the answer to why but I am really, really trying to just trust in you and know that you will watch over us and help us to acheive our goal of becoming parents. Please continue to bless these 2 embryos that are inside of me right now, please help them to continue to grow. Sunday is Easter, a time to celebrate your reserection, Easter is about new life - I hope that you will bless us with a new life very, very soon.
Love,
Alicia & Bob